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Jury of Bishops Declares Consensual Cannibalism ‘No Longer a Crime of Sin’

June 29, 2025
CATAL, JURA — In a sweeping theological declaration issued this week, the Jury of Bishops—the nine-member spiritual council of the Tethuric Church—has decreed that acts of cannibalism conducted with prior consent are no longer to be considered sinful under Church law, and therefore should not be criminalized by secular governments. The decree, titled On the Sanctity of Sovereign Flesh, states:

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